I remember what I was like prior to taking drugs. I was full of life and energy and dreams. Life was very clear and uncomplicated. I had a very good family life —one in which I loved and trusted my parents. I also had close friends that I enjoyed real relationships with as I was growing up. More than anything I wanted to be happy and have a game to play in which I would win.
But something happened along the way. I got involved with drugs. I was not trying to destroy myself —drugs were the “in” thing—to many people in my generation they were considered part of the “answer.” It was too late by the time I realized that drugs were destroying my life. I had become “spaced-out” from drugs, detached very much from life itself. Those things that I had held precious in my youth—family, morality and honest friendships—were a thing of the past. Really caring about life and other people were beyond my grasp. What relationships I did have became superficial.
I remember wondering if I could ever really care about someone again. I was scared, as I realized that I was not the same person I had been before drugs. I was not as sharp, my mind was a fog. I was bitter and untrusting. If there was one part of my life that I wanted to change it was the fact that I had done drugs. There was not a day that went by that I did not worry about this. This only heightened my despair as I knew that I couldn’t turn back time. Even after quitting drugs entirely I remained aware of the fact that I was not the same person that I had been before. The guilt, bitterness and sorrow was staggering.
Then I did L. Ron Hubbard’s Purification program. I have now handled the effects of the drugs that I had taken. I got my energy back and I am no longer walking around in a fog. I can think clearly and my mind is quick and decisive again. I have my drive back and I’m a part of life. I feel real emotions again that have been shut off for years. I can confront having real and honest relationships with others and I’m restoring those which I lost. In fact I feel as if I have to make up for lost time as I have wasted away years of my life. Now I want to be able to do something constructive with every minute.
I only hope that everyone else who has been involved with drugs, be they street drugs, medicinal drugs, etc., has the same opportunity as I have had and that they do this program. It will change their lives for the better, and there is an awful lot of good that can be done with one’s life to have that ruined by drugs. L. Ron Hubbard’s Purification program performed a miracle for me. It gave me back my life and I am living proof of that.
B.D.
